I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize