there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
