Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
