i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
