I bet he comes in French.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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