Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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