then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I love having hate sex.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
That accounts for only three of the penises
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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