On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I puked a lego.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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