just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
