what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
