U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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