GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Randomize