i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
