hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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