his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Randomize
