apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
