she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
