I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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