Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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