Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
