that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
