She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
