I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
