Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
