you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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