Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize