is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
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