my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
this will be a night to untag.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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