I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
