I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
