I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
