Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
