i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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