just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Randomize
