I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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