Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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