I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
