she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
