At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
