Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
