somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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