I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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