Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I bet he comes in French.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Randomize