was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
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He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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