Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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