: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
