Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
