Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
it hurts more in the daytime
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
