ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
