Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize