i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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