Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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