I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
