OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Pappa wants mamma naked
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
