I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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