After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
