u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Randomize
