my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize