i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
