I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Randomize
