we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
