i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
