it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
