The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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