I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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