We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
