mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I smell like Dick and happiness
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
