You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
no you cant smoke seaweed
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
