I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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