I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
You can't special order awesome
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
