He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
