Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Randomize
