dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
